My mothers view of her husbands death.

My mothers view of her husbands death.

Before I let you into my mothers heart I would like to tell you how brave she is for writing this. Yesterday after she read my blog she went white all day. I felt horrible for having drummed up such a hard memory for her. When I asked her “Mama, would you like to write your memory of that day, maybe it would help?” she, without hesitation said “yes”

I went to her house this morning, while I was feeding Mason, my nephew, Brandys son, she hand wrote me the following: I have not changed a word…

Mamas Memory...

Hi, this is Cindy, Tayla, David and Brandy’s mom.  Reading what Tayla wrote yesterday brought back some memories I have worked hard on to deal with.

My call came about one o’clock in the morning.  I was asleep and answered the phone and it was David.  He said Mom, Roger has had a car wreck.  He sounded real funny.  I said is he all right?  David mumbled something and I could tell he was crying.  I said What son? He said “he’s dead.”  I screamed and asked where Brandy was.  He said she was asleep at Roger’s.  (Roger and I were married for 20 years but divorced right before this all happened, we had talked on many occasions about reconciliation, we were still best friends).

I told him I would be right there.  When I got there, I said is it true, are you sure?  David, Ricky McPeek, Maryanne and Mike Poteete were there.  They said “YES” and I sank.  I had to sit there awhile until I could get up.  Poor David sat there with me. I looked up and I remember hurting for big ole macho Ricky cause he was crying like a baby.

David said we have to tell Brandy. We went to her room, and woke her ip and told her we had some bad news. (She told us later that she thought it was an intervention.) David had to say the words “Your Dad is dead” I just couldn’t. She jumped up and went to the bathroom…My son and I just looked at each other.
My baby girl had just gone off the deep end and I didn’t know it at the time. She came out of the bathroom screaming at Mike (the man in the accident with her daddy) demanding to see her Father.
During all of this time I not shed a tear. I felt like my heart was not beating. I was numb. The feeling was unreal, like maybe I was in a coma, but I was walkin.

I had called my little sister Angie before we told Brandy and asked her to please get over to the house. I told her that Roger had died. Angie showed up and tried to handle the logistics of the situation. Brandy called her best friend Kate to come over and be with her.

David is the rock of our family. He called Tayla and told her. It was a miracle we got in touch with her. He called Rogers oldest sons mother, Debi, and asked her to please tell Chris. (Rogers oldest son).

This whole time I am still staring at the ground, the wall, trying to catch my breath.

We had to go to Dickson to identify the body.
Tayla was to meet us there.

I will recall this moment until I die….
They took me in a room and I couldn’t look at his face at first. I started at his boots and went up…when I saw his face I whispered “Oh Dad”…

I always thought hospitals or whatever cleaned the body before they let the family see them. Not true. There was not an inch of his body not covered in blood. He died of massive head & chest injury so you can imagine what we saw.
I wrapped towels around his head before I let Bran and David come in. At that moment I realized that any of us can die at anytime.

My best friend Dorothy got me through the funeral, got my clothes and everything. Angie took care of Tayla, thank God for her help.

Roger was always the one we turned to for help. There were many terrible problems over the years of our marriage but he was ALWAYS there for all of us.
He took Tayla and David in as his own.

I always thought when he got straightened up, we would get back together. There is still a big hole in my heart but also a peace. There was a reason he died. God knew what he was doing. Roger is finally resting with his son. (His son, Chris, died in a car accident as well).
Tay, David, Bran and me are doing good.

 

4 Responses »

  1. God Bless you guys . . . I’m so sorry that he died. Give Mrs. Cindy a hug for me, Please Ma’am. Love Randee

  2. After reading Tayla’s blog on this..I saw where she said her mom had written something so I knew I wanted to read it too! I told her in my comments that she should go ahead and write a full fledged book because she could help ppl and from reading your words so could you! Just so refreshing to see ppl being honest with the public! God bless you both and pray you never have to deal with things such as you both have written about again!